Part of the Legend
by dancemagictv
Summary: The first time Clay observes Bravo team together.


**Clay's perspective of the deleted bar scene from the pilot episode, 1x01, "Tip of the Spear." Originally posted on ao3.**

* * *

The bar is dim, hazy and becoming steadily more crowded as the evening wears on. A steady buzz of conversation fills the space, but Clay is sitting alone.

A guy from training – Derrick? Dennis? something like that – initially settled down next to him and tried chatting, but Clay blew him off. To his credit, Derrick/Dennis/whatever seemed to take the hint and ultimately wandered off to annoy someone else.

Clay's relieved. He's not interested in casual conversation tonight.

He's tired; an exhaustion he feels deep in his bones. Green Team is no joke, and he's pushing himself harder than he ever has before.

Being good isn't enough. Neither is great. Clay knows he has to be _perfect_, with a single-minded objective – to prove himself as the best possible choice for an elite team.

So he isn't interested in being chums with his fellow candidates, or his superiors or the training team. They're competition. Distractions. Potential stumbling blocks on the path to what he knows he's meant to become.

He's far more interested in the group that trickled through the door about 30 minutes ago and settled in at a table by the restrooms.

Clay's nursing his fourth drink, and he knows he needs to cut himself off if he's gonna be able to endure another day of strenuous work tomorrow. But the drink gives him an excuse to sit quietly and watch them.

Bravo team.

He's caught glimpses of them here and there, alone or in pairs, but this is the first time he's really been able to observe them as a whole. And for an extended period of time.

At first glance, they look like any other group of colleagues that might take a load off at the local dive after a day at the office.

But their day at the office is unlike anyone else's.

Sure, there are other tier one teams - very well-respected ones - but none that have quite the reputation of Bravo. Clay's heard the stories. He has no way of knowing if they're truth or legend, but what he does know is that this team is where he wants to be.

He wants to be part of the legend.

The group is chatting and laughing, but he's too far away to hear anything they say. He's content to watch them interact. They seem so normal, like any other team. Clay tells himself that's good. That he isn't interested in the hero worship or the notoriety.

Truly, he knows it would be an honor to be drafted for any team, but he _wants_ Bravo.

Because he's only interested in being the best. And to be the best, you have to surround yourself with the best.

For a brief moment, Clay thinks about going over to introduce himself; make his case. But even he isn't quite that ballsy.

Brian's been telling him he needs to cool it. That he's overdoing the intensity, and that he's gonna screw his chances with his cocky overconfidence. But Clay doesn't buy it. He knows he has to prove himself more than anyone else.

If he doesn't go all in, he'll miss his shot.

Because he already has a handicap to overcome. Some people think being a legacy gives him an advantage, but he knows the opposite is true. The disgust for Ash Spenser trickles down to his son, and it's a contagion Clay can't wash away. He sees the looks people give him, hears the snide comments.

Frankly, it's just one more way Ash has managed to disappoint him in life.

But that screwed up relationship isn't something he wants to dwell on, so he focuses back on Bravo team across the room. There doesn't seem to be any kind of power dynamic going on. They're just friends shooting the shit. In fact, if Clay didn't know him by sight, he wouldn't even be able to tell by their interaction who the master chief was.

But of course, he _does_ know who Jason Hayes is. He's heard about the risks he takes, his defiance of authority when others wouldn't dare. Has heard how much his team respects him and how much he respects them.

But it's actually the woman at the table – the one person who _isn't_ part of the team – who's dominating the conversation. Clay isn't sure who she is, but he assumes she's part of the Bravo support structure. He finds himself smiling; likes that she seems to have such a close relationship with the men. It says something about her. And about them.

Clay realizes his mind has been drifting when there's suddenly a commotion in the bar, and Bravo team is right in the middle of it. Quinn has a man by the neck and some heated words are exchanged. Clay's a bit bewildered, but gathers that there's some kind of history there. The outsider ultimately leaves and Hayes pulls Quinn aside.

Clay assumes Hayes is chastising the younger man at first, but it quickly becomes apparent that isn't the case.

The team leader has his arm casually draped around Quinn's shoulders and he's knocking him around a bit, but the affection in the interaction can't be denied. Clay's chest tightens and he feels a rush of warmth spread through his body. He's not sure why the scene makes him uncomfortable. He knows how tight teams can be. Hell, his time with team 3 proved it to him personally. Those are friendships he'll have for the rest of his life.

But there's something about seeing this group together that intensifies an ache that lives deep within his chest. Like he's missing out on something important.

He's so caught up in watching the two men that he doesn't even realize Derrick/Dennis/whatever is back. "That's Jason Hayes," the guy says proudly, like half the bar doesn't know who the man is.

But Clay acts like he _doesn't_ know. Like he hasn't already decided he's going to spend the next 10 years with Hayes, learning from him and becoming the best damn operator he can be.

"He watched us in the box this morning."

_That_ gives Clay a jolt of adrenaline. He actually didn't know. He thinks back to his interactions with Big Chief, his tactical decisions in the room. Overall, he thinks he put in a good showing.

"Hope he liked what he saw," he says quietly.

Bravo settles in at their table again and Clay decides it's time to settle his tab and head out.

The knowledge that Hayes has seen him in training hammers home for Clay just how close he is to achieving his goal.

To turning what he's dreamed of for as long as he can remember into a reality.

To proving that he can operate among the very best, and that he can do it _despite_ Ash, not because of him.

To filling that hole he's always felt somewhere deep inside that he can't quite explain and doesn't want to examine too closely.

He wants all of it, and he'll get there. He _knows_ he will.

This is his future.

And he's willing to do whatever it takes to make it happen.


End file.
